Truck Explodes: Drivers Become Daredevils and Psychotics

Originally posted: July 28, 2005

A Mack Truck exploded today after going under a bridge whose clearance, 12' 3" was just a little bit too low. The explosion took out the entire overpass and motorists gone mad trying to get home have begun "trying to jump it."

Few have been successful...and by few I mean none. But that doesn't stop them from trying, God bless their souls.

The driver of the truck perished and perhaps this will be a lesson to all truck drivers, make sure you check that clearance sign before you go because if you don't make it, you could blow up and die.

Several stunned bystanders were on the scene.

"Now I know why they have those clearance signs displayed so prominently," said one witness, "I always thought the truck would just get stuck and that would be it, but no, they explode like my brother's house on the fourth of July...which nobody ever proved nothin about."

"That's why I'll never drive a truck, " said another motorist who saw the explosion up close, "they explode at the slightest provocation and they drive really slow. Noo thank you, I'll stick with my 1993 Ford Mustang."

I tried to point out to the man that he was comparing apples and oranges and he told me he had a whole basket of oranges back home which he wouldn't be able to get to for hours because of this "waste of time and tax payers money."

"What they oughta do, " he said, "is make flying bridges so this kind of thing don't happen. Then, the sky's the limit, soon they could have bridges that attack terrorist cells and whatnot."

As I slowly backed away from the man and into my chopper, smiling and nodding the whole way, I reflected on the days events. 'Why did this great big truck have to die?' I thought, 'Maybe it was just the truck's time. Or maybe the driver was just a great big, barbecue flavored jerk. At least I got dibs on his calf. Mmmm.'