Originally posted: August 14, 2005
Microsoft announced today that it was teaming up with the country's leading bio-engineers in an effort to create a cyborg child. The child would have the ability to grow and learn like a normal human but would be super strong, like a robot. So far Bill Gates has been unsuccesful at giving the robot enough money to have sex with a human woman, "The next course of action is to try giving him a billion dollars and see if he'll do it."
If succesful, this will be the first cyborg baby ever born, of course, as it will be running windows, major errors are unavoidable. This reporter expects it will be the equivalent of an epileptic Robo-Cop, or the Terminator with Down Syndrome.
Indeed, if no amount of money works to lure the Cybertron 5000 into bed, Gates plans to try a female robot and a male human, citing the fact that, "Men will fuck anything with a vagina, even if the only reason its wet is because it's leaking battery acid."
Hell, maybe I'll have a go at uploading my data into that sweet, sweet hard drive, as long as she doesn't mind playing with my software for a while. Yeah yeah, it takes me a while to properly boot up. Let me know Mr. Gates, I'm the perfect guy to screw a robot.
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