Deaf, Dumb, Blind Kid: Sure Plays Mean Pinball

The special olympics has decided to add several new events to their already full schedule of games for the hardly-abled. They did this to create oppurtunities for those handicapped people who may be even less physically talented than the ones who already compete. New events include: pinball, dressing themselves, staring contests, rock-paper-scissors, and doing a math problem.

Organizers have said that the added events will probably tack another day onto the schedule, leaving parents and caretakers even more miserable afterwards.

We got an exclusive interview with the favorite in this year's pinball event, Eric Shun, a deaf, mute, blind man with his hopes and dreams riding on this tournament. Through an interpreter he said, "You've really just got to feel the balls, when you can't see or hear it makes pinball difficult, but sometimes you have to battle through those difficulties, I've been doing it all my life." When asked if he thought he'd win he said, "Sometimes you can never tell, all of my orifices are tough and I don't know if I can shoot them with a rifle," the interpreter added, "or something like that."

I asked if I could see him play and wow, is he bad. He kinda just shoots the ball and whacks away on the flippers. I'm pretty sure I could beat him, I don't know about eyes closed though.

In the staring contest event, the favorite is Mike "No-Lids" McGee, who has no eyelids. And in doing a math problem, the perennial favorite in events like this around the world, Stephen Hawking is expected to win handily. All of the events should be exciting. Almost as good as that day I spent watching paint dry, or the fabled week of the great grass grow watch. Either way, I'd like to wish all of the contestants good luck and let them know that though they may not be normal people, they can compete against each other for our amusement, which is even more fun...for me.