Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Overzealous Cop Killed by Stunned SUV Driver

Originally posted: August 1, 2005

An overzealous undercover police officer was killed in the line of duty today. Allegedly he was trying to stop a lawbreaking motorist on the highway and was struck by an SUV.

We interviewed the motorist in question.

"Yeah I'm driving along the highway, going the speed limit, smoking a butt. I finish and toss it out the window and all of a sudden this blue car blows by me on the right. He goes about forty yards down the road, gets in my lane, throws on his e-brake and cuts the wheel real sharp to the left. Smoke is flying everywhere, this guy is right in the middle of my goddamn lane. By the time I get over what just happened its way too late to stop, so I just went around him and kept going. I guess the guy behind me didn't get over that shit in time cuz they smashed up real good. What kind of cop does that?"

Fellow officers voiced their opinions too, "Yeah, Jonesy really hated littering. I could see him doing some crazy shit like that," one said.

"He didn't much care about the rules, he liked to think of himself as a vigilante," offered another.

We also talked briefly to Officer Jones' father, "The kid was an idiot when he was born and he was an idiot when he died, that's all there is to it. Now if you'll excuse me, Matlock is on."

As a follow up to any who were wondering, Matlock won his court case that day. Oh Mr. Matlock, you are very good indeed.

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