Its been a strange few days at the Informant, what with terrorists taking over the building and whatnot. We have all been supplanted to a temporary cardboard box in which we will create our works of social uplift for the next few weeks, not the best working environment, I know. But, the show must go on.
A local bum who lives next door to my cubicle asked me for some change today, I told him I had no change. He knew that I was lying by the change jingle that he heard emanating from my pocket. When I said I needed it for coffee from the local Starbucks he became angry and demanded that he was starving. I think we all know that bums only use money for booze, and I don't support that.
He proceeded to yell at me for not understanding what it was like to live on the street, "Sure you work here," he said, "but living in a box, that's a whole different ball game. When you can't sleep without worrying about somebody murdering you, that doesn't help you to live. I like blue things but sometimes blue just ain't my color you know?"
I feel so bad for this guy, I think maybe I'll help him out by murdering him in his sleep then tossing the body into a nearby river.
In other news, the secretary has a banana on his head, we have been discussing whether or not to tell him, but he's ugly so we'll probably all just laugh at him for a while until he notices...
This alley has great real estate potential and its a buyer's market in here. About 20 cubic feet of space make it plenty for an office or bum home and the prices are very reasonable, get shanked once and live and its all yours, they don't bother you much after that. Speaking of which I think I'd better visit the hospital at the end of the day, I'm getting kind of dizzy from all the blood I'...m....loseuwfhirr
A local bum who lives next door to my cubicle asked me for some change today, I told him I had no change. He knew that I was lying by the change jingle that he heard emanating from my pocket. When I said I needed it for coffee from the local Starbucks he became angry and demanded that he was starving. I think we all know that bums only use money for booze, and I don't support that.
He proceeded to yell at me for not understanding what it was like to live on the street, "Sure you work here," he said, "but living in a box, that's a whole different ball game. When you can't sleep without worrying about somebody murdering you, that doesn't help you to live. I like blue things but sometimes blue just ain't my color you know?"
I feel so bad for this guy, I think maybe I'll help him out by murdering him in his sleep then tossing the body into a nearby river.
In other news, the secretary has a banana on his head, we have been discussing whether or not to tell him, but he's ugly so we'll probably all just laugh at him for a while until he notices...
This alley has great real estate potential and its a buyer's market in here. About 20 cubic feet of space make it plenty for an office or bum home and the prices are very reasonable, get shanked once and live and its all yours, they don't bother you much after that. Speaking of which I think I'd better visit the hospital at the end of the day, I'm getting kind of dizzy from all the blood I'...m....loseuwfhirr
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