With the cold of the winter upon us, many local birds aren't sure whether to go south for the next three weeks or just wait it out. Many of the birds stuck around through the incredibly mild winter and now just can't decide if they should leave the nest for the yearly trip to warmer climates.
We interviewed a goose family, who, through an interpreter*, seemed polarized on the subject. Father goose said, "Well, I'm getting old and its only like 2 or 3 more weeks of the cold and then it starts warming up again, we'd have to come back as soon as we got there. Going south is expensive, especially since we've had kids."
Baby goose was of a different mind saying, "Mom and dad promised we could go to Disney World and poop on people this year, they always promise us something and then we don't do it. We were supposed to poop on people's heads at Mardi Gras in 2005 but did that happen? Nooooo."
Whether or not these geese do decide to fly home, one thing is for certain, they won't have an easy time doing it. There are more airplanes in the air now than ever before and birds flying into the engines of them have accounted for more bird deaths in the last two years than bird flu and crossing the street combined**.
Whatever these birds decide to do, its a rough road for such a small payoff, if I were them I think I'd just drive south, but I guess you need hands for that. Oh well...fuck 'em.
*- Imaginative intern who made a bunch of stuff up.
**- Not a real statistic.
We interviewed a goose family, who, through an interpreter*, seemed polarized on the subject. Father goose said, "Well, I'm getting old and its only like 2 or 3 more weeks of the cold and then it starts warming up again, we'd have to come back as soon as we got there. Going south is expensive, especially since we've had kids."
Baby goose was of a different mind saying, "Mom and dad promised we could go to Disney World and poop on people this year, they always promise us something and then we don't do it. We were supposed to poop on people's heads at Mardi Gras in 2005 but did that happen? Nooooo."
Whether or not these geese do decide to fly home, one thing is for certain, they won't have an easy time doing it. There are more airplanes in the air now than ever before and birds flying into the engines of them have accounted for more bird deaths in the last two years than bird flu and crossing the street combined**.
Whatever these birds decide to do, its a rough road for such a small payoff, if I were them I think I'd just drive south, but I guess you need hands for that. Oh well...fuck 'em.
*- Imaginative intern who made a bunch of stuff up.
**- Not a real statistic.
powered by performancing firefox
1 comment:
Here is proof that I read at least one of your articles. You are no Walter Cronkite.
Post a Comment